I Miss Leading Worship

It's always a tough decision to go against the grain - to do what's unpopular. Leaving our old church was an incredibly difficult decision and for me it's been a grieving process for me the past few months. I've had to learn the hard way how to let go. And during that process, I learned how incredibly prideful I've been over these past few years.

Leading the worship ministry at our church was one of my passions in life. It fueled my soul and heart. It picked me up from rough days and weeks. I was part of an amazing community that was transparent and authentic - that wanted to help connect the church with Jesus.

Over the past few months, my fingertips have softened from not playing the guitar. And so has my heart.

A few weeks ago I sought out some pastoral counseling because I realized it was finally time to move forward and to stop living in the past. I found that bitterness settled into my heart, where light and love lived so prevalently. I have some homework that I have been jamming on and I plan to set up some divine appointments with some folks that have been on my heart.

With this realization that I need to repent and to rely completely in Jesus and not of my flesh, I have realized how much I miss leading worship. I have discovered a whole mess of worship music that I wish I could introduce to the church.

But for everything there is a season. And God clearly wants our family to worship together as a family. So I've learned to be content worshiping with the church and not leading worship for the church.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I've been at Hope NorthBranch serving as a volunteer worship leader for almost 4 years. Honestly, I didn't want to go to Hope NorthBranch in the first place. The church was looking for a worship leader to grow the music ministry and I was looking to purge additional responsibilities from my life at the time. So when the email hit my inbox, I immediately hit 'delete' and moved on with my day.

However, my wife was also included on the email. And lucky for Hope, my wife is an amazing, God-loving woman full of grace and wisdom. She simply has a big heart and wants to see Christ taken to the ends of the earth.

When she approached me about the idea, we agreed as a family that for a season we would help out the church in order to get them through the holidays. That was October 2006 and our season lasted a little longer than what we had originally anticipated.

Almost 4 years later, God begin stirring in us a desire to spread our wings a bit. And on Sunday, June 6th, while celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary, we felt the presence of the Lord release us from Hope NorthBranch. We felt God say, "It's okay. It's time to go."

That's a difficult pill to swallow letting go of something you think you built up. The church had grown from 125 people to over 900 at the latest Easter service. The music ministry grew from a handfull of people to over 40. But I didn't have anything to do with it. In all honesty, the Holy Spirit made all of that happen. All we can do as worshipers is acknowledge that and get out of the way of God.

We cannot control what is not ours to control. Hope NorthBranch is one of those things. So is the music ministry. So are our lives.

So when God said to let go of the music ministry and Hope NorthBranch, what choice do we have in the matter? When He has blessed you to leave and given you peace about it, all you can do is be obedient to his calling.

So we are stepping out in faith. Unsure of what lies ahead in the future. God was abundantly clear in Proverbs 16:1 that whatever plans we make, His will overrule ours. I love this paraphrase which reads: "Man loves to devise plans which reflect his heart's ambition; God however always does what He wishes regarding our lives."

Perhaps God will bring us back to Hope NorthBranch after a season of time. One things for sure, I am looking forward to worshiping with my family together. We've gone to church the past 6-8 years in 2 different cars at 2 different times. I am looking forward to worshiping as one body, one family in this next season that God has ordained.

My Mild Obsession with Hillsong United

They say that acceptance is the first step. Okay, I will admit that I have a mild obsession with Hillsong United. There...I said it.

Earlier this week, we were blessed to celebrate Caleb and Logan's 8th birthday in style: at a United Hillsong worship event at Wells Fargo Arena here in Des Moines, Iowa.

When I first found out about the concert, I was torn because I realized that it fell on their birthday. What to do?

A) Throw them a really fantastic birthday celebration over the weekend and go on a date with my lovely wife by ourselves on Monday.

OR

B) Take the kiddos with us and celebrate with them.

As you can deduce from the start of this blog, we took the boys. But we were also blessed to be able to get backstage passes for the show and 15 minutes before they hit the stage, the band humbly came out of their dressing room to wish my boys a happy birthday.

The week prior, Logan had asked if I could design him a shirt that read "Hillsong United States" as a play on words since the band resides in Sydney, Australia. I obliged and made two very handsome shirts for both Logan and Caleb, which they proudly displayed the night of the show. As a mildly obsessed fan, I brought along my favorite Sharpie and had the members each sign their shirts. We took a great family photo with the band (sans Jonah unfortunately who stayed with grandma and grandpa that night). And I even handed Joel Houston a couple of packs of Thomas Lift art cards, hoping it would bless him as William's art has blessed me.

The concert met all expectations. Of course, I knew what to expect worshiping with them a year prior at the Willow Creek Worship and Arts Conference (The Wonder Conference) the year before. So then that little voice in my head started speaking.

"Drive to Kansas City and see them again. It's only 3 hours away and it's not like Hillsong United gets to the states that often. Plus tickets are fairly reasonable."

A quick check of the weather report and I was rather discouraged. Rain. Thunderstorms. Wind. Ugh. What to do? So I tweet, "How much do I love Hillsong United? Enough to get wet."

They write back, "If we can do it, so can you!" Affirmation.

So I planned to drive by myself. Be alone in my thoughts and listen to their music full blare as I drive off to Kansas City. But then my buddy Josh, media director at Lutheran Church of Hope, offers to tag along and it's a man-date.

Last night was awesome. It was an outdoor show at the Starlight Theatre adjacent to the Kansas City Zoo. However, the rain was downpouring when we finally hit the Kansas City area. Not discouraged, we brought rain gear and agreed to live to tell this story again and again.

But God's favor was on us. As we pulled into the parking lot, the clouds parted and the skies turned blue. We were reminded of one of their songs in which they sing, "Open up the heavens, let your glory fall." To which God's glory fell upon this audience of worshipers last night.

We scalped tickets. Maybe it's not a fair assessment since we paid full price but I helped a church group out as several people canceled due to the weather. So we made new friends and worshiped our hearts out last night under the Kansas City night.

And I thought to myself, "Joel Houston and the rest of the gang from Hillsong United are freaking awesome. But they are merely a speck of sand in the beach of awesomeness that God claims as His."

I can't fathom what worship music in heaven must be like. What's crazy is that this music down here on earth probably doesn't compare. Although, these past two worship events I would argue that heaven has met earth.

I pray that Hillsong United can continue reaching a generation of unlost. To change the world as we know it. And inspire millions to turn their hearts to God.

Wedding Songs

I get asked often for recommendations for wedding songs. Here are a few tunes that I would recommend that would be beautiful for a wedding. (Note: many of these are worship songs)

Unfailing Love – Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdSM3RQhlu8

This Day - Jadon Lavik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiQ_sN87_2Y

Your Love Is Deep – Jami Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcxLwta95ns

Your Love is Extravagant – Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoaH0I9UwLI

Enough – Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMzuHwVGuNc

For My Love - Bethany Dillon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EOzAcS7TTo

You Are My Strength – Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0jjczHhi6c

Your Love Never Fails – Chris McClarney, performed by Joe Monto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVOSd_rraAw

How He Loves – Written by John Mark McMillan, performed by David Crowder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJyW55AXJAk

By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J95rAr0gOFU

Love Came Down – Ben Cantelon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sMMZckqMeU

A Page Is Turned – Bebo Norman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVsDL70lnoI

This Kind of Love – Sister Hazel (this is a secular song that I played at a friend’s wedding. I thought it worked well and was actually surprised the Catholic church let me play it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO2B4UZz0LA

When I Say I Do – Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2JSXM0gSiM

Divine Romance – Phil Wickham
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeTzIuZr0wI

Love Never Fails – Brandon Heath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geVbSntnOd8

Matthew Paul Turner and World Vision to Visit Uganda

Follow Matthew Paul Turner and World Vision as they travel to Uganda in January. Matthew is one of my favorite bloggers so I can only imagine you will appreciate his thoughts and insight as he travels to a country that holds my heart...Uganda.

Check it out.

Words of Wisdom from a Four-Year-Old

My four-year-old son, Jonah, has been on a tear lately with his wisecracks. Some of them are frankly laugh out loud material and others are sweet and endearing.

For instance, over Thanksgiving break I was working on our laptop and asked Jonah to refrain from touching the keyboard. He nodded and a few seconds later I see him navigating the screen with his little fingers.

"Jonah!" I said abruptly, "I told you not to touch the computer."

To which Jonah promptly responded, "I heard what you said but my finger wasn't listening."

Each evening when I come home from work, I get an update on our kiddos' progress on Mario Kart for the Wii (PS: You know it's a bad sign when your children start spelling "we" as "Wii"). So last night, I was asked to advance their game to the next level. In doing so, I unlocked a few vehicles and...drum roll please...Dry Bones, a kid favorite.

The boys were jumping up and down and giving me high fives. It was as if I had scored the winning touchdown with no time left on the clock in a high school football championship game.

The next thing I know, Jonah is giving me bear hugs and exclaiming, "You're the best Daddy in the whole world!"

How can you argue with that? I am pretty awesome.

My 2nd reason for loving Jonah

4 out of the 5 days of the week, my wife drops me off at work on her way out to Jonah's preschool and her part-time job. Normally, our ride involves listening to Thousand Foot Krutch's new album, "Welcome to the Masquerade," but today my four-year old let me listen to Fee's new album, "Hope Rising."

When we were approaching our downtown exit, Jonah piped in and said, "Mommy when you die and go to heaven..."

At this point we were thinking this is going to be an adorable question or a huge epiphany about heaven...

"...can I have this car?"

I bust out laughing. My 2003 Toyota Corolla already has 110,000 miles on it and some rust. By the time he's old enough to drive it, it may have 500,000 miles on it.

"Way to set your goals high, Jonah," I said back.

One reason why I love Jonah

I love how he refers to me as his "best buddy."

Erik: "You ready to head upstairs buddy for rest?"

Jonah: "You mean best buddy?"

Role Models

Yesterday, I had about 2 hours of work sitting on my desk calling my name. It was a hectic day in the office and I was being pulled in several directions. I finally carved out some time on my calendar and blocked two hours in the afternoon to crank on my work.

I went to the quietest place I could find on our campus and sat down at a cafeteria table next to a window that overlooks the beautiful fall trees outside.

I carefully spread out my work, surveyed the task ahead of me and was about to get started when I spotted them: two random employees who decided to sit right by me.

At first I was annoyed because they were talking really loud, and I was having a difficult focusing on my work. Then the "cool" one switched into fraternity mode and used about every cuss word imaginable to hold a discussion with his fellow peer.

Initially, I was embarrassed for him because he represents our company, was sitting on company property and didn't represent the values and ethics of our company. Then I was irrate to later figure out that their relationship was manager/employee and they were having their weekly one-on-one catch-up.

Is that how you conduct yourself in the workplace? If so, good luck moving up the career ladder.

It got me thinking about an incident from earlier this week. (Disclaimer: this is kind of gross) I've had a nasty cold for a week which went into my chest. When I have a coughing attack, gross things dislodge from somewhere deep in my lungs. And there's no way I am going to swallow that down.

So after one of my coughing fits, I rolled down the window and let it fly. The only problem is I was running an errand with my three boys. My four year-old rolled down his window and tried to spit out the window. As we like to say in Twitter-speak: #FAIL

It was with humility that I realized that my sons idolize me. I'm their hero. And I need to lead by example. I agree; teaching them to spit out the window is probably not a good idea. But what about the other areas of my life?

Do they watch me love and serve my wife unconditionally as Christ loves the Church?

Do they watch me read my Bible out of my desire to learn and grow in my faith walk?

Do they listen to me pray to Jesus without ceasing?

I do not model the lifestyle I want my boys to grow into. Do you?

We need to. Let's step it up.

Truth and Love

We had a really great leadership retreat this weekend at Hope NorthBranch. I will admit that I more or less rolled my eyes when I initially learned of this retreat because it's tough to give up a Friday evening and a good chunk of your Saturday - especially as a volunteer. So my heart may have not been in the best place going into this retreat.

However, within 10 minutes of kicking off the retreat, I was hooked. Dan Brunner, one of Pastor Scott's best buddies, came and facilitated our retreat and we covered a bunch of ground from Myers Briggs to what it means to truly follow Jesus.

One of the most interesting exercises he facilitated was regarding the Myers Briggs test in which we discover our profile based on a questionnaire we completed ahead of time. We then spent a while affirming our pastor's strengths and areas of growth.

I could tell that the team was a bit uncomfortable sharing his areas of growth. It's tough to give constructive criticism and admit that someone actually has a weakness. And I think this is especially true in the church because we have a distorted view of love, especially when it comes to our leaders.

I think most people are afraid to share the truth in love to leadership (especially pastors, preachers, ministers, whatever you want to call them) for a couple of reasons:

1. We are afraid of feeling inferior or being put on the defense because of a pastor's Biblical credibility. The last thing a member of the church wants to do is to get into a Biblical debate with a pastor. I would imagine that most pastor's would handle constructive criticism with humility like our pastor did. And while I don't have the statistics to back up my point, my hypothesis is that people are afraid to discuss issues with pastors because they are Biblically illiterate.
   
2. Another reason why people shy away from voicing concerns is because we don't want to offend our pastors. They DO pour a lot of their energy and time into shepherding their respective churches. It's personal. And a lot of our feedback is subjective. So we're afraid of stepping on toes and hurting feelings when it comes to bringing up issues and concerns with the church.

But if we don't have these healthy conversations with our pastors, how will they learn & grow and improve the overall health of their leadership and the church?

Exegetical Vs. Topical Preaching

I haven't posted on this blog for a while so I am sorry I've neglected you. If you wanna know where my head is spiritually, I have been struggling with the topical versus exegetical preaching debate. I listen to a lot of Matt Chandler as it feels like God speaks to me through him. I have learned a lot through him and he's constantly challenging me, my beliefs and my thoughts. So I am praying about what God is trying to say to me about this and what we should do.

Now you know.

Chaos In the Storm

The lightning is filling the sky. The thunder is shaking the house. In between songs, I hear one of the boys upstairs crying. They are pretty exhausted from a busy weekend so I fly up both sets of stairs to their rooms. I find Jonah thrashing in his bed – arms and legs flailing. Screams and cries. Sleepwalking. And he can’t be woken. He starts coughing and choking – losing his breath. The room illuminates with flashes of light and rolls of thunder. One horrendous cough and his system is jolted and he realizes his daddy is sitting next to him. He falls into my arms and my words of affection and affirmation. “It’s okay” I say over and over as I rub his back and snuggle him. He’s a sweaty mess and smells like the outdoors, but I hold him tighter and love him more. Unconditional love.

Can you relate to Jonah? Does it feel like the world is flashing by, filled with static while your thoughts are enveloped in a mess of chaos?

In the Message’s translations of John 6 (35-38) it reads: Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me. And once that person is with me, I hold on and don't let go.

Isn’t that what we all desire at the end of the day? To let go of everything and to be embraced by the one who loves us unconditionally – even in our sweaty and smelly messiness?

Faith In Action

This morning I was mingling by the front doors of the school (our church) when a beautiful African woman with crutches walked through and waited inside. I humbly approached her and introduced myself and she told me her name was "Rhumbi". (I am sure I just butchered the spelling)

When we started our call-to-worship at the first service, she walked all the way to the front and sat in the first row - pretty uncommon, especially in a Lutheran church.  Then Nick W., who specifically works with refugees at Lutheran Services in Iowa, came up to the front and sat next to her.

While leading worship today, Nick was engulfed in a pretty serious prayer session with God. I could tell he he was pleading with God, from the furrowed brow and serious look on his face.

Today, Pastor Scott gave a pretty compelling talk about "walking the walk" when it comes to our faith. And then he invited "Rhumbi" to come forward and give her testimony which was heartbreaking. Seriously heartbreaking. Rhumbi was from Zimbabwe and has experienced tragedy that we can barely comprehend.  She was selected to come to America for a brighter and better future - to escape the torment that she endured in her home country.  But her testimony wasn't necessarily filled with hope and joy; she is still broken and hurt by the actions of Americans. After 7 months of being in America, "Rhumbi" said she doesn't have any friends.  And my heart was broken.

One of my favorite verses is 1 John 3:18 which reads:  "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

I played my "spiritual leader" card today and told my wife that we need to sign up to join Lutheran Services "Circle of Friends" program to befriend a refugee family (or families).  What really broke my heart is that I expected to see a line of people "walking the walk" today, but I was only the 4th name on the list.  I was honestly disappointed and discouraged today.

And God's timing is impeccable. While I write this, Tim Hughes' song "God of Justice" just cycled on in iTunes.

God of Justice, Saviour to all

Came to rescue the weak and the poor

Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us

Freely we’ve received

Now freely we will give

We must go, live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go

Stepping forward keep us from just singing

Move us into action

We must go

To act justly everyday

Loving mercy in everyway

Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require

Freely we’ve received

Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out Lord

Feeling neglected?

It's my busy season obviously so the Worship Groove has been very quiet the past few months. My apologies! I promise I will refuel and start typing away soon!

In the interim, check out my buddy's site: Thomas Lift.

Bill Butler is an amazing, talented painter and I love his latest work which you can find here.

http://thomaslift.com/blog/?page_id=143

Blessings!

One of many reasons why I love my son, Jonah

My youngest son, Jonah, has taken a liking to my cologne. I suppose that I should be flattered that my sons want to be more like Daddy. So our new routine during shower time is this:

1. Lather up the kid real good with soap and shampoo. Rinse.
2. Lather the kid up with Old Spice Sport body wash. Rinse.
3. After I have him dried off, we apply a generous amount of moisturizing lotion.
4. And then the best part. He carefully samples each one of my cologne bottles (sadly, I have about 10 of them) - sniffing each one with deep breaths.
5. After we narrow the selection down to half, he selects his favorite.
6. I spray a small amount on his hands which he rubs together, pats his face and rubs on his tummy and arms.
7. Then he proudly declares, "Mommy! Smell me! I got some of Daddy's smellies on!"

I gotta admit - that's one kid I definitely love snuggling after that routine. ;)

Christmas Present

I am one of the luckiest guys I know. I realize that's a rather bold statement but when I reflect on my wife and kiddos, it warms my heart and I smile inside-out.  They are perfect in my life.

I think my wife is one of the best mothers on earth...and if there were a contest someday on Oprah to determine the best mom, I'm pretty sure she'd be a finalist, especially if I was one of the judges. hehe.

So here's the point of my post.

Wanna know what my wife bought me for Christmas?  A business.  

She is an encourager and wants to help me pursue my dreams. A couple of years ago she arranged for some studio time so I record some of my music.  And this year I like to think that she out-did herself.

She met with a financial advisor to figure out the tax/IRS stuff, set up business accounts with the bank, ordered credit cards and checks for the business, set up a PO box, and even blew up my brand logo and had it framed.

She's miles ahead of where I am with the business. But it was the swift kick in the butt that I needed and I am looking forward to kicking off this adventure in 2009.  

I will likely journal some of my learnings and milestones as this unfolds and I will share some of the good stuff with you.

Chivalry is not dead

This morning we got sacked with a snowstorm. Huge Colorado-esque flakes fell from the sky and quickly covered the road. The wind made no excuses as it ripped through our town enveloping all.

As I dropped off the boys for school, the line of cars was much longer than normal as I expected. We patiently waited our turn and they hurried indoors to safety. As I turned the corner to head to work, I watched a young boy and his younger sister dashing up the sidewalk toward the school. His sister was lagging behind and slowing him down.

But then the unexpected happened. He stopped, turned back and grabbed his younger sister's hand to help her walk the rest of the way. My heart swelled. I wish their parents could have witnessed this sibling love.

I wonder how many opportunities like this I miss with my own children?

See you in 40 days

I've decided to take an Internet fast. I am finding that I spend endless unproductive hours reading Facebook status updates and blog postings that really don't do much for me. There are things I'd rather be doing like spending time with my wife and kids, reading my Bible more, praying, starting my own business, reading books for leisure, and write music. So I'm not going to be checking Bloglines any more. I'm going to stay off of Facebook. And I'm not going to chase sports scores online.

I have to use it for my volunteer worship position...that's my only exception. Tabbing out music, finding online devotions, posting the setlists, etc.

So...I'll see you in 40 days or later.

Godspeed,
ECC

And the MRI says...

About a year and half ago, we got drilled by a snow storm. Since my snow blower was functioning more like garage decor (it wouldn't start), I shoveled the driveway and sidewalks by hand that winter. On this particular day, I did something rather foolish. I was pushing the snow by running with this shovel. The momentum allowed me to force the snow the edges of the driveway faster. Except on this day, I hit a crack, jammed the shovel and jarred my shoulder. Excruciating pain. And to make matters worse, I did it twice.

I went to the doctor's office and we took x-rays which came back fine. He prescribed some pain killer meds for me and gave me some stretching exercises. I was told to schedule another appointment if it didn't get better.
My shoulder healed but remained sore. It was sore to bend it certain ways and to lay on my right side. It was sore when I lifted heavy things or wrestled with my children. But it didn't necessarily hurt. Until 2 weeks ago.

Somehow I managed to jar my shoulder again. I really don't recall how or when I did it but I know it happened two weeks ago. It hurt so bad that I would turn the volume on the radio or use my wipers with my left arm. If I raised it more than 45 degrees, it hurt. Bad.

So off to the doctor I went and we finally took a closer look by a MRI. Yesterday they called and said that my rotator cuff is torn.

This is interesting news to me. I am at a point of burn out with the worship ministry. Apathy has set in and I am not feeling healthy right now. If my orthopedic doctor recommends surgery, my guitar playing days will be postponed for quite some time. I am slowly working in two new worship leaders so the timing is what intrigues me. Should surgery happen, then it may be time for Mark and Brad to lead for a while. It would perhaps give me the break I need to regroup, refuel and re-energize as a worship leader.

I need healing for my shoulder and my soul.

Post Election Email

A friend of mine sent this email to me today. I thought it was worth publishing...

Dear Friends,

For months now my email Inbox has been besieged by nearly hysterical warnings about what will happen if this man/woman or that man/woman becomes President. I have been encouraged to be worried, afraid, concerned, prepared for disaster, and a whole host of other maladies if this happens. I do not deny the importance of this election, but it seems to me that we need a dose of perspective. So I would like to start my own email concerning this election. It's a "True/False" test.

I'd like for all of us to take it.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, Jesus will still be King.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, our responsibilities as Christians will not have changed one iota.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, the greatest agent for social change in America will still be winning the hearts and minds of men and women through the gospel, not legislation.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, my primary citizenship will still be in this order - (1) the Kingdom of God , (2) America , not vice-versa.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, the tomb will still be empty.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, the cross, not the government, will still be our salvation.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, our children will still be more concerned with whether or not we spend time with them than with who is President.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, my neighbor will still be my neighbor, and loving him/her will still be the second greatest commandment.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, my retirement will still not match my treasure in Heaven.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, "Jesus Is Lord" will still be the greatest truth in the Universe.

True/False: The day after the election, regardless of who wins, we will still know that God is in control.

How did you score?