Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I will admit that my prayer life flourishes when I am worshipping. That's always been my form of prayer that most resonates with me. I have a difficult time humbling myself, bending my knees and pressing my face into the dirt. Granted, I definitely need to discipline myself more to do this.
My wife and I were recently talking about the need to go deeper in our confessions to God. I find that if we're in the middle of an argument, my tendency is to ask God to help me get over my feelings of anger instead of confessing and repenting of my sin while apologizing to my bride.
The past few weeks at KHOP I have felt very numb when we've worshipped. While the rest of the crew has been into the worship a bit, I feel like I haven't been very authentic up there and have been just giving God lip service. I don't want to stand before God as a bumbling idiot. I want to stand before him, worshipping him with my whole heart.
Yesterday I confessed these feelings to one of my worship partners and he expressed the same insight to his feelings. I'm not sure if it's because of our confessions last night but it was extremely easy to make it through the 2-hour set...even without a prayer leader. Praise God.
Last night was one of those nights in which God laid several choruses and songs on our heart. It's normally a good sign when we only make it through 2-3 songs as opposed to 8...and last night was no exception. Praise God (again).